Reading Francis

We make each other who we are.

The mass readings for Sunday are kind of an odd combination. The first two (Proverbs 31 and Psalm 128) have a common theme: the blessing of a worthy wife. The second reading (1 Thessalonians 5:1-6) is one of those end-of-the-liturgical-year “the end is coming” warnings, which only ties to the first two by reference to a woman in labor. And the Gospel, Matthew 25:14-30, is the parable of the talents, which sort of connects to the Thessalonians reading in the “final reckoning” sense but otherwise doesn’t seem to connect to the first two. This is the reading where a guy gives his servants talents (usually interpreted as money) to invest, and the ones who get more, make more, while the guy who gets the least just hides what he’s given to protect the principal without making any profit, which is the wrong answer.

I was reflecting on the “worthy wife” ones, because I got really lucky there. Mind you, the definition of “worthy” in Proverbs may not be mine: April can sew a little when she has to, but the “obtains wool and flax…puts her hands to the distaff and her fingers ply the spindle” isn’t quite the priority it might have been. And I also recognize that Scripture lacks a great counterpoint of what a “worthy husband” looks like, which is probably too bad. At any rate, the part about “She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy,” and “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised,” I can get onboard with.

Here was my thought on how the readings might tie together though.

April and I didn’t start out this way. We married so young that, in a lot of ways, we really grew up together. To the (great) extent that she is a “worthy wife” and (much lesser) extent that I am a “worthy husband,” it’s because we learned what that means, first from watching our parents, and then from practicing marriage together.

We tend to interpret the parable of the talents as a call to invest in self-improvement. If you have gifts or literal talents, we say, this passage is about the responsibility to develop them and offer them for holy purposes. That’s not a bad take.

But the biggest gift we have is time, and the most powerful way we can invest it is in each other. By spending our time and attention on people we love, whether spouses or kids or family or friends or coworkers, we help them grow in acceptance of their belovedness, and we get better at the main task of living, which is loving others. 

There’s a place for self-development, don’t get me wrong. But if April and I had each only focused on ourselves instead of choosing to invest quality time and attention in each other, neither of us would be “worthy spouses,” all spindles and distaffs aside.

I was fortunate this week to spend a lot of time with some of the great people I work with. As an introvert, it was exhausting. There were times when I was tempted to retreat to my room to read and/or sleep. But to the extent that I was able to connect with longtime friends and encourage new folks while sharing bits of our lives together, it was time well invested, as it always is.